This blog is to help with these burning questions "Why am I single?" "What should I do?" "Everyone around me is "taken" except me" "I am lonely" This blog will feature quotes from Entrepreneur, life coach, motivational speaker, author, and my brother in Christ. Tony Gaskins I recommend all ladies and gents purchase his book Single is not a curse. Also guys purchase The Guy code by Tony Gaskins. Ladies can purchase Mrs. Right also by Tony Gaskins and While I wait I'm going to Serve by my sister in Christ, and author; The renowned Evangelist Bridgette Y. Wright
Get Rid of the Ex (if there is one)
Why would Kaybee say get rid of the ex in a singles blog post? welp, glad you asked. Many times we are classified as single but we still have that "ex" lingering around. "X" him or her out of your life. Stop entertaining phone calls, those I Miss you texts, stop looking on their Facebook profile block them on twitter or instagram. The main reason we continue to follow that person on social media is to see if he or she has someone else or to make those subliminal messages you hope he or she sees.You don't need to see a thing
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Move forward, don't be distracted. Maybe you say "Well we can be friends" not such a good idea... "we can just be friends" usually means you can be mine without the title. If you dated a person that wasn't loyal and wasn't a good "boy friend/girl friend" what makes you think they are a good friend they have already proved to you that they are not. If you have children by them then you are excused! However just make sure that your reason of contact is for your child's benefit.
If not and for my non parents...What happens then is that this person is still apart of your life lingering around. Be mindful that some times it is the people who you are connected to that prevent you from being able to go to the next level. Take Abraham (Abram) and Lot for example. He was instructed in Gen 12:1-4 to leave his family however Lot (his nephew) went with him. Please understand everyone cannot handle the altitude in which God is taking you to. We see that God shows Abram something only AFTER he and Lot separate in Genesis 13:14. If you want to be prepared for your next get rid of that ex... sounds catchy I know I know.. lol (I am very witty as you can tell)
sooooooooo.....
Block him/her on social media, unfriend, unfollow, whatever you have to do.. stop responding to those text messages, phone calls, no don't even face time, oovoo, kik,... nothing! If you know he or she will be some where and if you can avoid it.. do so! AND I beseech you to stop shacking up if you are. Let's keep it real are those 10,15,20 minutes worth ETERNITY in hell? I didn't think so.. An ungodly soul tie can form if it already hasn't. Then you will really find yourself "in a pickle" if it already has pray that God breaks that soul tie. We can be tied to someone through channels such as emotions and sex. Don't give anyone freebies! and if you ask God to break that ungodly soul tie and you find yourself disinterested in that person now, then it was a soul tie that kept you there. Seriously, Stop wasting time, Time delayed is destiny delayed! Alone: bad or good?
I understood he was in ministry I understood he was busy but I should not had to wonder if I was single or if I was not. I didn't even know if I had done something wrong to him, because he never wanted to communicate with me. Listen People make time for what is really important to them! Every season of your life that may not be comfortable is there to reveal to you something about you! You may find that you have low self esteem, maybe you're selfish, maybe you should spend time with God more, maybe you should depend on others less. None of us are perfect but if you can change something, change it. When the disciples were on the boat during a storm we find that Jesus was asleep and the disciples were "freaking out" When they woke Jesus up he asked why were they so fearful. That Storm revealed to them they had little faith. (Mark 4:35-41) It's okay to be alone. Enjoy life, Most importantly enjoy God!
Everyone around me is in a relationship! :-(
Were you one of those people who were "salty" on Valentine's Day? V-Day for some people was the only day they felt appreciated. Sad...but true. and Any one who looks forward to V-Day is apparently not in a good relationship because if a person is in a good relationship they will feel loved and appreciated all the time and God forbid these poor sisters who get cheated on year round but post pics of the only $20 "dude" ever spent on her.. bless her heart
I know the feeling... seems like as soon as you're single the more people you see together. If you don't watch it you will become angry and even jealous. That's so easy to do however. Everyone that is with someone now may not be in the God ordained relationship that God has for them, also they may not even be happy in that relationship! Social media and smiles can fool you! Things may appear to be something it is not...
Especially those of you who are young in the teens and early twenties...Honey Chile, LIVE! okay very few from high school and college marry and let alone stay together. Some people are prolonging destiny! Don't want a relationship more than you want GOD! Don't! Tony Gaskins says it like this "If you are not happy Single you are not ready for a relationship" He's right! Some people are in discontentment so they join to someone else. They have to be with someone jumping from relationship to relationship! Because they are simply trying to get what they do not possess themselves from someone else. Some people are so busy trying to be power couples they forget they have power by themselves. (Luke 10:19) No relationship is to complete you but to compliment you! What do you have to compliment?
The bible declares that "What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder" Mark 10:9 Let's be real some people God hasn't joined together. They think that but truth is he didn't. You can both be saved, sanctified and fire baptized and still not be meant to be. Uh Oh! When God created Eve her purpose existed before she did. God doesn't join or form things without a purpose. (see Genesis chapter 1 and Chapter 2) I believe all married couples can sympathize with me when I say Marriage is ministry. God created us to be more than just husbands and wives. He created us to do more than please another person and please ourselves.
Since I am single, what should I do?
Well as Tony Gaskins explains in his book Single is not a curse "Single is time for the Five F's Freedom, Focus, Family, Finances, and Friends" (p24-30) Single life is the time to do other things not sit around wishing and wanting. BE Content with you and GOD! The Apostle Paul wished that we would want to be single because that way we can devote our time to God. (1Corinthians 7:25-40) Pleasing God will then be our only focus. Not trying to please God and someone else. Enjoy your life! If you don't enjoy your own life what makes you think that someone will enjoy life with you.
Stop trying to plan your life you will only delay destiny! God delivered the Israelites from Egypt but because of their whining, mumbling, and disobedience after all that God had done for them they stayed in the wilderness 40 years. (Joshua 5:6) Delaying the blessing...delaying the promise! The bible declares that "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to usward, not willing that any should perish but all come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)
So many times we plan our lives "I will be married by 26 expecting a child 6 months later, my biological clock is ticking and I'm only 20 LOL" please stop, okay! You can't plan your life. God planned it (Jeremiah 29:11) (Proverbs 3:5-6) Nothing you go through surprises him! Don't try to wait until you are 40, 50, or 60 years old to try to walk out your purpose. There are some things God wants to bless you with in your NOW season. Do it now! Your purpose is not attached to any mate, it is attached to God! (Genesis 2:5-7) Do you not believe that God can bring you someone better?
SLOW YOUR ROLL.........
There are people right now that are wedded wishing they weren't, there are some people on the verge of being wedded and in relationships that GOD has not said get into. They are in them because they feel it's right and they been dating Ray Ray or Keisha 10 years and so they believe that's the one.. Some feel he/she is saved so that's the one.. nope not always so. Don't make decisions like that without first hearing The Lord. Don't lower your standards but also; Don't expect a 100% perfect person. Use this time to get closer to God and prepare for the one God has for you. You should feel privileged that you're not going through a maze, (say it with me) delaying destiny! It is better to be single and happy than together and tormented! It is better to be alone and walking in your purpose than to be with someone and outside The Will of God. A lot of people desire to have weddings and not godly marriages. If you cling to God and fulfill your purpose (if you don't know ask him what it is) you will be ready for the one God has for you as Tony Gaskins says "You attract what you are not what you want". Do the biblical math 1+1 will = 1 not a half and a forth will equal 1. so many times we think we are whole and we are not! (Proverbs 14:2)
Keep in Mind....
"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands" Psalm 138:8
"And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, to
those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
"But may the God of all Grace, who called us into his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you" 2 Peter 5:10
I pray that this blesses you! comment, share with a friend, you're free to post it to your social media pages as well! I would love your feedback! This is due to the glory of God!
You are not your past! New Mindset! New you! now that is bible!
Blessings, Kaybee
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